iPhone Updates: The Bane of my Life.

My iPhone keeps reminding me of a new update that it’s clearly desperate for me to download.

Three reminders later, I finally drag myself away from Instagram, Facebook and Twitter (always in that order) and the bastard tells me I’ve not got enough memory to update. 

I must delete some apps to make room for an update I really don’t need, that probably will make no difference to my life. In fact, last time I updated, it messed up all my emojis. Don’t get me wrong I was grateful for the long overdue new guys flung in there but seriously, who was the smart arse that thought, “I know! Why not jumble them all up just to fuck with everyone”. It’s been well over 6 months and I still have no bloody idea where the spanner is, not something I use frequently but that’s besides the point! 

I sacrifice YouTube, Temple Run and a few photos but that’s still not good enough. I’d love to delete those stupid Apps that you can’t delete, everyone hates them. ‘Tips’ here’s a good tip…go fuck yourself and stop telling me to update my phone! 

Everytime my phone asks me if I’d like to update I now find myself shouting, manically,“Oooh you’d like that wouldn’t you?!”

After bidding farewell to eBay, Snapchat and Facebook Messenger, I can finally update. Cue half an hour of staring at the smug little apple, unbearably pleased with itself. 

When my all too familiar screen finally reappears, I spend the next half hour reinstating my apps and searching for changes. I see no change whatsoever. Fuck you Apple.  


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