Uni also started back a few weeks ago and I already feel like I’m drowning in classes, timetables and notebooks. I’ve never loved university and I don’t hate it either but I’m not about to deny that I don’t wake up when my alarm goes off and think is it worth it?
Is it? Somehow through all the assignments, early rises and stress I can’t seem to see how it’s all going to end. Normally, when Im almost at the end of a good book I like to skip to the back and take a sneak peak at the last page so I don’t feel so tense not knowing the outcome. Yes it’s basically cheating and I’m sure it’s not the manner in which the author envisaged it being read but it calms me knowing the end result. Wouldn’t it be great if I could skip to the end of uni and see if I’m a multi award winning television presenter, living in a mansion with a four storey dressing room and my 1000 dogs yet?
People keep asking me, “so what are your plans when you finish uni?” Plans? I’ve not had plans since I was three and planned to steal my brothers action man so he could marry my barbie. I feel like I should know what I’m doing by now but I just smile and say, “hoping it just comes to me like a lightbulb moment and everything will then fall into place splendidly.” I can see people looking troubled by my response and it really makes me want to scream, “I have no fucking plan, stop asking me! I really don’t need the added reminder that I’m planless and have been winging it this entire time!!”
I have promised myself that I will have a plan by next year but for right now I’m just trying not to switch off my alarm each day and blissfully sleep my life away.